Dec 12
Building on the foundation we were discussing in another message, re: Raising good kids.
Bill Add comments
Tags: Children,Community,Culture,Education,Ethics,Interesting
THOUGHTS ON parenting really smart kids.
Deep Thought
Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock.
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Off the top of my head…You have to not “fear” your children getting mad at you for making the tough decisions, saying no, calling them to the carpet, and not caving in to what “ALL THE OTHER parents” supposedly allow for their kids. Be a crusader.
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oh, forgot a good one, You (the parent) must be an expert spy.
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I agree with everything Wach, except the spying part. I know, I know, it seems like a good idea, and the temptation is almost overwhelming. I just can not bring myself to do that.
Naievette? Maybe.
Let me explain. Most things in life that i have to grapple with, I bring down to “Do I want that done to myself”? (Or the golden rule). Now, I have made many bad judgment calls int he past and I am bound to make many more in the future, so perfection is not on my plate, ever. But, do I want someone looking through my things, violating my trust? No.
Is there good reason to? Is the intention good to do that? Undoubtedly.
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spying on adults…no. but our kids…I feel it’s my duty, especially when it comes to the computer, cell, potential dangers. Do I let them know? no…not fully. But if there is something to worry about or something is just not sitting right with me,..it’s time to do a little motherly digging. sometimes it’s nothing, sometimes it’s something that needs to be tended to.
As far as someone spying on me or going through my things? My mom gave me some good advice early on in my life …destroy all evidence
some other good books are “Kid’s are Americans too” and “10 stupid things girls to do mess up their lives.”
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As to computers, I went against the common wisdom and got one for the each of the kid rooms. I made it perfectly clear that they were all tied into the internet through my machine, and that logs were kept of all activity, be it email, IM, web or the like. I also told them that I probably would never look at those logs. BUt what I did do was make those logs accessible to everyone on our home network (We have 9 computers in our local home network, you know its bad when you have one in your workshop and even one in your bathroom…sigh) So anyone at anytime can check the entire history of where anyone has been, what they have been talking about, and the like. Both kids are on the net a lot, facebook, IM, and to date I don;t think anyone is trying to hide anything. I like the transparency of it all, and I think they appreciate it also.
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Good idea Bill. I’ll have to set mine up that way, it’s sounds much easier than what I have to do.
I have told my kid that I can check anytime I want…but I don’t think she really believed me until now. Now she knows. I think she thought I was bluffing…I don’t bluff. She can try to play the “one parent against the other” with the rules at each home game too…or so she tries. It’s exhausting being a parent and a wife. That’s why that other “party” doesn’t exactly sound like a party to me! work…just more darn work…
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How did she figure out you weren’t bluffing?
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From Charles Sykes book:
* 1. Life is not fair. Get use to it.
* 9. Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn’t.
* 14. Looking like a slut does not empower you.
* 30. Zero tolerance=zero common sense.
* 33. Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.
* 35. If your butt has its own zip code, it’s not because McDonald’s forced you to eat all those Big Macs. If you smoke, it’s not Joe Camel’s fault.
* 36. You are not immortal.
* 48. Tell yourself the story of your life. Have a point.
I don’t believe these are original to Mr. Charles Sykes. Seems to me I read these rules as a part of a commencement address given last year by….hmmm….Bill Gates? Donald Trump? somebody. Maybe even George Carlin,Robin Williams or Bill Cosby. Seems to me it was Bill Gates, though. I could be wrong.
GREAT rules for life. We shopuld all think about incorporating them, no?
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good rules to live by regardless who wrote them!!
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